30 Nurses Humor Quotes, Sayings That Make You Laugh

Nurses have the best sense of humor, nurses humor quotes and experience the influence of nursing through these inspiring and funny nurse quotes!

Sarcastic nurse quotes
Sarcastic nurse quotes

The sign outside says ‘HOSPITAL’, not ‘NARCOTIC BUFFET, ALL YOU CAN EAT’.

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nurses humor quotes
Nurses humor quotes

Don’t mess with me – I get paid to poke people with sharp objects.

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Snarky nurse quotes
Snarky nurse quotes

How many nurses does it take to screw a light bulb? None – it’s delegated to the nursing students.

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Funny nursing student sayings
Funny nursing student sayings

While that is correct, it is not the most correct. – Nursing School

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Funny nursing quotes short
Funny nursing quotes short

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors, nurse in charge… or patients.

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hospital staff quotes
Nurses humor quotes

You think Mondays are bad? Try working weekends, holidays and 12 hour nights.

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medical quotes inspirational
Medical quotes inspirational

You don’t know how many truly crazy people there are in the world until you’ve worked in the medical field.

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Funny nurse slogans
Funny nurse slogans

Nursing is not for the empty of heart…nor the faint of heart.

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doctors funny quotes
Doctors funny quotes

You know you’re a nurse when your finger has gone places you never thought possible.

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Funny nursing student quotes
Funny nursing student quotes

Nursing school is a lot like giving birth… once it’s over, you just tend to forget just how painful the process really was.

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medical doctors sayings

The 3 words most people want to hear: ‘I love you.’ The 3 words nurses want to hear: ‘Alert, Oriented, and Ambulatory.

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hospital caring peoples
Nurses humor quotes

I love being a nurse, but I mostly love wearing scrubs. They’re basically professional pajamas.

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Cute nurse sayings
Cute nurse sayings

Be nice to the nurses, we keep the doctor from accidentally killing you.

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Being a nurse is weird: I can keep a poker face through trauma, but have a mental breakdown over losing my favorite pen.

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Hand sanitizer has started to become your best friend.

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“Do you need help repositioning the patient?” – offered by no doctor ever.

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Laughter is not the best medicine… Propofol is!

Read More: Inspirational Life Qutoes

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3 AM: the time when you remember you forgot to chart that thing, bring that lady her water, or pass that med.

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I’m a nurse, what’s your superpower?

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You can’t cure stupid, but you can sedate it.

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TGIF? Sorry not familiar with that term… I’m a nurse.

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If I’m just a nurse maybe I should leave so you can see how your visit goes without me.

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Showering won’t be enough after today. I’ll need to be autoclave.

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Nursing friendships are a different kind of love; like, ‘I’ll hold the butt cheeks while you clean the butt crack’ kind of love!

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While that’s correct… it’s not the most correct. This is nursing school.

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Be nice to me. I dispense the happy pills.

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Nurse: the first person you see after saying, ‘Hold my beer and watch this!’

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Yes, I am a nurse. No, I don’t want to look at it.

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When I heard 202 was going to be the year of the nurse, this is not what I expected…

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Nursing is not a career… it’s a post-apocalyptic survival skill.

Read More: Funny Christian Quotes

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2 comments

  • Hi there, I check your new stuff on a regular basis. Your humoristic style is awesome, keep doing what you’re doing!

    Reply

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