Funny Christian Quotes Pictures | Hilarious Christian Sayings

Religion is although a serious thing and we take it as training and education but there is some funny things also in it so that we don’t feel boredom. Here are some funny Christian quotes. The purpose of these quotes are only to bring smile and happiness on your face. They are not for offensive means or to make angry someone so enjoy our funny religious quotes collection. 

Short Funny Christian Quotes

Funny christian quotes with pictures
Funny christian quotes with pictures

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means. George Bernard Shaw

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Funny christian quotes about life
Funny christian quotes about life

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
Garrison Keillor

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Funny church quotes
Funny church quotes

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.
Herb Caen

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Funny christian sayings
Funny christian sayings

Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple.
Thomas Paine

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Christian humor quotes
Christian humor quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn’t there, and finding it.
Oscar Wilde

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Funny christian jokes
Funny christian jokes

Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen

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humor qutoes for fun

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.
Mark Twain

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humor religion quotes
Humor religion quotes

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

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The number of followers you have doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.
Anonymous

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Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
Billy Sunday

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A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.
Billy Graham

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The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
G. K. Chesterton

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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain

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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben

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I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Ghandi

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The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.
Mark Twain

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The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.
Dante Rossetti

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On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park.
Curtis McDougall

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Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
Napoleon

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Funny Christian Captions for Instagram

Funny christian captions for instagram
Funny christian captions for instagram

We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to learn that it is God shaking them.
Charles West

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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin

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Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.
Aldous Huxley

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I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.
Ronald Reagan

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The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried.
G. K. Chesterton

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But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Mark Twain

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People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them.
Dave Barry

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It is time the Arabs and the Jews sat down and settled this dispute in the true Christian spirit.
Senator Warren Austin

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If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said “No”.
Stevie Smith

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Funny Quotes About Faith

illogical faith quotes

Faith my be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
H. L. Mencken

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humorious sayings about faith

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch, which ought to be applied as sparingly as possible.
E. M. Forster

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Humor quotes about faith
Humor quotes about faith

If there were no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn’t even eat hash with any safety.
Josh Billings

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faith humor sayings

Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking.
R. Buckminster Fuller

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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Wilson Mizner

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Scepticism is the beginning of faith.
Oscar Wilde

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Some things have to be believed to be seen.
Ralph Hodgson

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Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
Friedrich Nietzsche

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I’ve never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one true religion by faith – it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe.
Robert A. Heinlein

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The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
Benjamin Franklin

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We have not lost faith. but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.
George Bernard Shaw

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Those of little faith are of little hatred.
Eric Hoffer

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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains…. But it can put mountains where there are none.
Friedrich Nietzsche

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Funny Church Quotes

short christian quotes
Short christian quotes

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Garrison Keillor

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A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to people who will never get there.
H. L. Mencken

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Go to church this Sunday – avoid the Christmas rush.
London graffito

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I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin

Read More: Funny Religion Poems

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Funny Christian Words of Wisdom

Funny Christian Wisdom Quotes
Funny Christian Wisdom Quotes

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.
Thomas Ybarra

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I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Oscar Wilde

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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde

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A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

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Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben

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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.
Yiddish Proverb

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If you can’t get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
Mark Twain

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If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
Thomas Szasz

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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley

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If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
Betty Reese

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If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem wonderful at all!
Michelangelo

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Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.
Henry Ford

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Millions long for immortality who don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz

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Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you. They may have different tastes.
George Bernard Shaw

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God Has a Sense of Humor Quotes

Funny God Quotes
Funny God Quotes

If you use the church’s WiFi, are you receiving God’s signal?
Anonymous

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humor god quotes
Humor god quotes

My dear child, you must believe in God despite what the clergy tell you.
Benjamin Jowett

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humor god sayings

It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
Peter De Vries

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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin

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I’d rather live my whole life assuming there is a God, only to find out that there isn’t, than to live my whole life assuming there isn’t a God, only to find out there is.
Peter Barry

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Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation?
Joseph Heller

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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
Quentin Crisp

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If there were no God, there would be no atheists.
G. K. Chesterton

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Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn’t misuse it.
Pope John Paul II

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Is man one of God’s blunders or is God one of man’s blunders?
Friedrich Nietzsche

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You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic.
Doris Egan

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God is dead. But don’t worry – the Virgin Mary is pregnant again.
Los Angeles graffito

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You do well to believe in God. Satan also believes…and trembles.
James

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God is the immortal refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos. He will set them above their betters.
H. L. Mencken

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