Most Funny Football Quotes | Players Funniest Sayings

Football isn’t all about the past, it’s also about the fun while playing out in the field or while watching the game progress. Here these funny football quotes and share them with your feed!

Funny football quotes for shirts
Funny football quotes for shirts
  • Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90% temper and 10% mental. – Doug Plank
  • The team was the best player on the pitch.
  • If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck
  • Sometimes in football, you have to score goals. – Thierry Henry
  • The local girls are far uglier than the ones in Belgrade. Our women are far prettier and they don’t drink as much beer.
  • Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.  – Heywood Hale Braun
Funny quotes about football teams
Funny quotes about football teams
  • Predictions are only for after the game.
  • Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.  – Elbert Hubbard
  • It’s an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson.
  • We all know how the French are, and Platini is French, and he believes he is better than rest.
Funny american football quotes
Funny american football quotes
  • I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football. – Les Ferdinand
  • Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.  – Elbert Hubbard
  • Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.
  • If you don’t believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day. – Neville Southall
  • We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percent that cost us the match.
  • I asked my son who his favorite player was. I expected him to say ‘You, Dad’. But he said, Thierry Henry. – Didier Drogba
Funny football quotes
Funny football quotes
  • I’m behind 11 Frenchmen? This is a joke to have to hear this.
  • I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.
  • I have one selfie on my smartphone. That’s with Messi. Cristiano was in the room, as well.  – Jürgen Klopp
  • He covers every blade of grass out there… but that’s only because his first touch is so crap.
  • Football is like life – it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and respect for authority. – Vince Lombardi
  • They’re the second best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that.
Funny inspirational football quotes
Funny inspirational football quotes
  • We lost because we didn’t win.
  • American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party. – Sue Lawley
  • They’re lucky I didn’t come 10 years ago because I would be the president today.  – Zlatan Ibrahimovic
  • I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important -like a league game or something. – Dick Butkus
  • Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don’t like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that. – Bill Shankly
  • It was really difficult for us, playing in the midday sun with that three o’clock kick-off. – David Beckham
Funny quotes football players
Funny quotes football players
  • It’s a no-win game for us. Although I suppose we can win by winning. – Gary Doherty
  • I dream of playing for a club like Manchester United, and now here I am in Liverpool. – Sander Westerveld
  • Football was my only hope in life. I wasn’t too good at school. To give you an idea, I managed to fail art in a class where my uncle was the teacher.  – Richarlison
  • I had no idea who my teammates at Genoa were when I signed. So I turned on my PlayStation and looked them up on FIFA.  – Krzysztof Piątek
  • The reason women don’t play football is that 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. – Phyllis Diller

lost every game funny sayings

  • I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league. – Mark Viduka
  • I don’t believe in superstitions. I just do certain things because I’m scared in case something will happen if I don’t do them. – Michael Owen
  • I’ve been consistent in patches this season. – Theo Walcott
  • I shouldn’t say this – definitely not now! But when I was young I was a massive United fan. – Raheem Sterling
  • You get to hit the hardest when trying to run or hide from a problem. Like the defense on a football field, putting all focus on evading only one defender is asking to be blindsided. – Criss Jami

playing game quotes

  • If he wants to play on his own, he can go and play tennis.
  • Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match. – Ian Wright
  • You have to be gentle with the ball like you are gentle with a woman. – Dimitar Berbatov
  • Have Tottenham closed the gap on Arsenal? The last time I checked they were still 4 miles and 11 titles away. – Arsene Wenger
  • But a college needs something else besides education. And what this college need is a good football team and you can’t have a good football team unless you have good football players.–Bert Kalmar
  • I might be eating my words but I reckon Real Madrid suit us more than Barcelona.

games humour quotes

  • Football is the ballet of the masses.  – Dmitri Shostakovich
  • I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. – Stuart Pearce
  • My wife doesn’t like football. One day she called me 10 minutes before a game to find out where I was. – Peter Crouch
  • Well, I can play in the centre, on the right, and occasionally on the left side.
  • Books are vital to learning. Half the population doesn’t go to football matches but that doesn’t make football any less important. – John Sutherland
  • I never make predictions, and I never will. – Paul Gascoigne
  • I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league – Mark Viduka
  • I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock. – Barry Venison

game quotes

  • It’s great to get the first trophy under the bag. – Michael Owen
  • He’s leaving because he’s Guardiola’s favorite. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I can’t make myself shorter and learn Spanish. – Jurgen Klopp
  • Left alone with our own heads on, we can be pretty mental. – Tony Adams
  • We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.  – Bruce Coslet
  • My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.  – David Beckham
  • The stars above the Italian club’s badges show you how many times they have won the Gazette. – David James

Read More: Funny Running Quotes

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