70+ Funny Running Quotes To Make You More Laugh

Here are some hilarious funny running quotes and sayings that will make you and your runner friends burst out laughing. Read and share with friends.

Running quotes funny
Running quotes funny
  • “I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly.” – Bill Kirby
Funny running quotes
Funny running quotes
  • “Run like hell and get the agony over with.” – Clarence DeMar
Funny running quotes from movies
Funny running quotes from movies
  • “After all, if you run far enough, no one can catch you.” ― V.E. Schwab
Funny running quotes for signs
Funny running quotes for signs
  • “Runner’s logic: I’m tired. Let me go for a run.” – Unknown 

walking humor sayings

  • “If you start to feel good during an ultra, don’t worry, you will get over it.” – Gene Thibeault
Funny motivational running quotes
Funny motivational running quotes
  • “Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run.” – Jumbo Elliott

walking is way of happiness

  • “Running won’t solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework.” – Unknown

bad shoes humor sayings

  • “Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.” – Unknown

happy coffee sayings

  • “A good run is like a cup of coffee. I’m much nicer after I’ve had one.” – Unknown 
  • “Long distance running is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.”  – Rich Hall
  • “If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because (a) you’ll burn all the calories you consume, (b) you deserve it, and (c) you’ll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway.”  – Don Kardong
  • “The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.” – Erma Bombeck
  • “If the hill has its own name, then it’s probably a pretty tough hill.”  – Marty Stern
  • “Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second.”  – William James
  • “The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” – Franklin Jones
  • “We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.” – Will Rogers
  • “Don’t worry, toenails are overrated.” – Unknown Runner
  • “Run like you stole something.” – Unknown
  • “I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster.” – Robin Williams
  • “The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.” – Martin Mull
  • “If you don’t have answers to your problems after a four-hour run, you ain’t getting them.” – Christopher McDougall
  • “If you feel bad at 10 miles, you’re in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you’re normal. If you don’t feel bad at 26 miles, you’re abnormal.” – Rob de Castella
  • “Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.” – Victoria Wood
  • “A good laugh and a long run are the two best cures for anything.” – Unknown
  • “I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly.” – Bill Kirby
  • “I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m going running to ignore them all for an hour.” – Unknown
  • “The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.” – Erma Bombeck
  • “I’ll quit running when I’m dead, which feels like it will probably be in about another mile or two.” – Tom Anderson
  • “Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.” – Charles M. Schulz
  • “Remember: It’s rude to count people as you pass them. Out loud.” – Unknown
  • “If the hill has its own name, then it’s probably a pretty tough hill.” – Marty Stern
  • “Run like Ryan Gosling is waiting for you at the finish line. With a puppy.” – Unknown
  • “Remember, the second most important thing to choosing the right shoe is choosing the left one.”– Unknown
  • “We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.”– Will Rogers
  • “Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first!” – Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
  • “The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.” –  Franklin P. Jones
  • “Toenails are for sissies.” – Unknown
  • “If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise.” – P.Z. Pearce
  • “You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.” – Steve Prefontaine
  • “You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.” – Lemony Snicket
  • “No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes.”
  • “There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys.” – Gabrielle Zevin
  • “If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because a) You’ll burn all the calories you consume, b) You deserve it, and c) you’ll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway.” – Don Kardong
  • “My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years old already.” – Milton Berle
  • “Run in the morning … before your brain figures out what your body is doing!” – Unknown
  • “Remember: Sweat is fat crying.” – Unknown
  • “If I pass out, please pause my Garmin.” – Unknown
  • “How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.” – Jimmy Fallon
  • “I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training.” – Unknown
  • “Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you.” – Unknown
  • “Running a marathon felt like I played in a very rough football game with no hitting above the waist.” – Alan Page
  • “Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second.” – William James
  • “It’s unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him.” – Mike Royko
  • “I don’t think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.” – Rita Rudner
  • “It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it.” Brooks Johnson
  • “I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty.” – Wendy Liebman
  • “I don’t believe in jogging. It extends your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging.” – Marshall Brickman
  • “Life is short. Running makes it seem longer.” – Baron Hansen
  • “Do your feet hurt? It’s probably a mix of doing so much running and kicking so much ass! Keep it up!” – Unknown Runner
  • “Start slow, then taper off.” – Walt Stack

Funny Running Quotes For Shirts

Funny running quotes for shirts
Funny running quotes for shirts
  • “In case of Emergency, Run Like Hell.”
Funny running quotes for t shirts
Funny running quotes for t shirts
  • “Run Now Pizza Latter!”
Running funny quotes of t-shirts
Running funny quotes of t-shirts
  • “Running is Cheaper Than Therapy”
T-shirt humorous lines
T-shirt humorous lines
  • “I’M INTO FITENESS, I Can Run Up A Bar Tab”
  • “Running is not a Hobby, It is a Life Choice”
  • “Don’t Make Me Use My Running Voice”
  • “This is not sweat it’s my body crying”
  • “I’VE GOT THE RUNS”

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