Funny quotes provide us a unique entertainment to make our life happy. Give some time in your precious time to read them. Which have been presented by different types of writers in movies, drama, novels and on social media. Enjoy reading and sharing them with your friends. Let’s entertain yourself by reading less known funny quotes USA.
1. When good Americans die, they go to Paris,’ the ghost said, after taking a drag on a small cigarette.
― Karen Chance, Embrace the Night
2. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason
3. Americans used to be ‘citizens.’ Now we are ‘consumers.
― Vicki Robin, Your Money or Your Life
4. Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.
—Dan Rather
5. As a New Yorker, I’m someone who lives on an island and looks across to America.
—Laurie Anderson
6. I do feel more myself in America. I can regress there, and they have roller coaster parks.
—Alan Rickman
7. In America, anyone can become President. That’s the problem
– George Carlin
8. Being an American is about having the right to be who you are. Sometimes that doesn’t happen.
― Herb Ritts
9. The American ideal, after all, is that everyone should be as much alike as possible.
― James Baldwin, Notes of a Native Son
10. When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
—George Carlin
11. Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
–Woody Allen
12. Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
–George Will
13. God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
― Mark Twain
14. Americans were most likely good people…the only thing wrong with them, David thought, was that they spoke English very badly.
― Anne Holm, I Am David
15. Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
–Lily Tomlin
16. In America you can say anything you want, as long as it doesn’t have any effect.
—Paul Goodman
17. New Rule: This Valentine’s Day, Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what’s on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts.
–Bill Maher
Read More: Most Funny Football Quotes
